Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
