god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
