I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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