i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
