Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Randomize
