Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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