i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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