You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
So many bounce houses so little time
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
