I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
