I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
