She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Randomize
