saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize
