Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
