if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
that is very illegal...i love you.
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