3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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