Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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