Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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