Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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