Old men and throwing up are my life now.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
