I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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