i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
