My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
