Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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