Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
