I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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