So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
