i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
