I think I just saw someone hide a body.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Randomize
