In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
