i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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