they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Randomize
