Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
my sisters under your porch take her home
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
