I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
