there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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