I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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