We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Panties = found
Randomize
