HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I am naked and annoyed.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
