you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
