When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
