I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
