Me too!
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
