sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
she pinky promised me she was 18
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Enjoy the penises
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Randomize
