Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
