genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
