broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
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