I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
