This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
