ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
