hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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