Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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