I want to make a zoo with you.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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