I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
