windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
