you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
