Just cropdusted the office
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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